I'm a guy, a male, a penis weilder and I definitely have to admit that both men and women have some funny shit going on with us. That established, I just wanted to write some funny things I've noticed about my fellow XYers that come off as funny since I've also done it or can laugh at when other guys do it.
1. Artistic belching. I've lost count of how many times I've seen a guy friend launch a burp and either, keep it in and blow it into somneone's face or modulate the sound like some belch singer.
2. Cock grabs. Honestly, some guys can't leave their shit alone for one second and they need tactile reminding that their penis is still attached and pointing to their direction of preference.
3. Pick up food that has fallen off the plate. To us, the five second rule applies and if it fell on our shirt it's still clean for all we care.
4. Projection of attraction. Most guys are over or under kills but often you see guys that have no clue as to exactly how much to hit on a girl. They are either off the map or so in your face that sexual harassment is a possible outcome.
5. Sex story comparisons. If you want to hear some great fiction just listen to a guy talk about the babe they bagged the other day. If you're lucky enough you will know the girl and get the counter story.
6. Macho drinking. "I can drink a box, I can drink a bottle, I can drink a keg". I'd applause but you're too drunk to notice.
7. Give the, yeah I could have her, I'm just not interested. Right.........
8. Wearing shit to impress women... This one is adorable because you see soe guys visibly uncomfortable wearing certain colors or clothing just to be noticed by a girl.
9. Two words... after shave. Talk about toxic.
10. Audibly declare that they will send a fax, lay a log, send a toilet email, give birth or otherwise share their fiber with the world.
Here's your ticket ladies. Bash away... but be warned... you also do some silly shit that will be documented as well. But for now, have your fun.